ICF Bijeenkomst over Humberto Maturana door Karen Kraakman

In september ben ik bij  een zeer bevlogen en passie volle avond geweest van ICF Nederland.

Karen Kraakman was de gastspreekster en zij heeft met haar passie voor coaching gedeeld. Zij woont zelf in Chili waar zij jaren geleden in contact is gekomen met het gedachte goed van Humberto R. Maturana’s. Na enkele jaren deze Humberto R. Maturana bestudeerd te hebben deelde zij nu met de ICF leden, hoe zijn leer haar coaching verrijkt heeft.

Humberto R. Maturana werkt vanuit zijn laboratorium in de Universiteit van Chili en onderzoekt op wetenschappelijke wijze de biologische leer van de kennis en de liefde (Biologia del Conocer y Biologia del Amar en cultuurbiologie). Hierdoor kunnen de verschillende dimensies van het coachen beleefd en begrepen worden.

Dit is iets waar wij in Nederland dol op zijn; wetenschappelijke bewijzen voor emotionele en menselijke processen.

Tijdens deze bijeenkomst is er dieper ingegaan op de ‘Biologie van de liefde’; emoties en het ontstaan van taal om deze emoties te kunnen delen en samen beleven.

Door leuke praktische observatie activiteiten heeft Karen de leden laten ervaren dat je bij observeren vaak connecties maakt in je hoofd tussen het nieuwe wat ons gepresenteerd werd en hetgeen er al in ons hoofd aanwezig is. Tevens heb ik goed ervaren wat het verschil is tussen het hebben van een ervaring en het spreken over een ervaring. Door deze processen ontstaat er een nieuwe werkelijkheid. Een werkelijkheid die wij samen creëren.

Deze avond was een zogenaamde ‘taster’ van de leer van meneer Maturana en de liefde en passie voor blijvende ontwikkeling van spreekster Karen Kraakman.

Ik wil de organisatie en Karen Kraakman hartelijk bedanken voor deze inspirerende en warme avond.

Groet Jeanine Hamaker

volgende activiteiten van ICF Nederland. tevens te vinden op http://www.coachfederation.nl/

11-10-2017         Webinar Informatie over accreditatie bij ICF       Marianne van der Pool of Anita van Vlerken       Via Zoom

07-11-2017         Workshop ‘Ethisch handelen in coachen’             Annemarie Calon en anderen    Utrecht

23-11-2017         Discussie n.a.v. een artikel: ‘De waarde van competenties’          o.l.v. Han de Ronde en Anita van Vlerken Via Zoom

Rare onderwerpen?

Tring tring
“Met Jeanine van Jehcoaching?”
Na een korte stilte “Met pieter, U bent toch coach?”
“Ja”
“Ik zit ergens mee en kan er met niemand over praten….”
“Ok, belemmerd het u in uw dagelijkse leven?”
“O ja, ik kan aan niets anders denken en ik weet niet wat ik ermee moet”
“Mag ik weten waar het over gaat?”
“mm tja…uhuu nou ik spreek u graag persoonlijk eerst…”
“ja dat kan, een informatief gesprek is altijd mogelijk”

Dit blijkt over iets te gaan waar velen van ons mee te maken krijgen. Een keerpunt in je leven. Het moment dat je je realiseert dat je moet veranderen maar hoe en wanneer en met wie? Support uit je directe omgeving is soms besmet met vooroordelen en persoonlijke agenda’s.

Het is niet altijd gebruikelijk om over alles met je beste vriend of partner te praten waardoor Pieter het fijner vond om met mij over het onderwerp te kunnen praten. Na 2 sessies was het hoge woord eruit en heeft Pieter een levens veranderend besluit genomen; een zeer emotionele en persoonlijke beslissing. In deze tijden is het fijn om met iemand samen te kunnen werken die buiten je kennissen en vriendenkring ligt.

 

Het scheelde Pieter veel tijd, energie en

lastige communicatie of vervelende situaties met directe relaties.

 

Onze samenwerking gaf Pieter de ruimte om zijn keuze grondig te kunnen onderzoeken en zich voor te kunnen bereiden op de vervolg stappen van zijn keuze.

Dit is wat ik zo fascinerend vind aan het coachen van mensen. Het helpt hen een moeilijke periode te verkorten en het geeft ze de rust om een langdurige oplossing voor te kunnen bereiden. Ik merk vaak dat mijn klanten niet willen dat iemand anders weet dat ze bij mij zijn geweest voor support?!

Loop jij ook met een dilemma rond en ben je op zoek naar een langdurige oplossing?
Bel of stuur mij een email en ontdek hoe wij samen kunnen werken.

Jeanine Hamaker
0652094311
jeanine@jehcoaching.com

naar boven

Wat houd “je leven op orde hebben” nu eigenlijk in?

Een heerlijke gevleugelde uitspraak waar ik vaak bij denk:

“Oja? Wat is dat dan ‘je leven op orde hebben?’

Wanneer is mijn leven op orde??

Als mijn handdoeken opgerold op kleur in de kast liggen,

of wanneer wij aan het einde van ons geld geen stuk maand meer overhouden?”

 

Op ‘orde zijn’ is een zeer ruim begrip en mijn ervaring is dat wanneer er op 3 verschillende gebieden in iemands leven van alles vast begint te lopen dat dan het gevoel van “op orde” of ‘controle’ verloren gaat.

In dit ‘Wheel of life’ uit de co-active coaching zie je de verschillende gebieden:

                                                         Wheel of life

Dit Wheel of life gebruik ik in mijn werk wanneer een cliënt meer inzicht wilt hebben in waar zijn of haar energie lekken en energie gevers zitten. Door op structurele wijze samen naar deze gebieden te kijken krijgt de cliënt helderheid over hoe deze energie lekken en energie gevers werken en in positieve zin te beïnvloeden zijn.

Bijvoorbeeld    De een wordt nerveus wanneer er deurwaarders aan de deur komen en de ander verblikt of verbloost hier niet bij. Welke van deze twee personen zal een deurwaarders bezoek vele energie kosten?

Vooruit willen komen

“Ik geloof dat iedereen vooruitgang wilt zien in zijn leven.”

Veelal lukt dit ook en smaakt het naar meer. Dit geeft een heerlijk gevoel en het maakt dat je bij tegenslag makkelijker doorzet en open blijft staan voor nieuwe uitdagingen.

Wanneer je in een of twee gebieden uit de wheel of life vastloopt is dat te overzien zoals dat zo mooi heet. Met hulp van je support netwerk kom je wel verder en vind je weer een manier om vooruit te komen.

Maar worden het meerdere gebieden en begint alles een grote brei te worden ben je niet meer bezig met het verbeteren van je situatie maar aan het overleven. Je merkt dat alles wat je probeert niet meer werkt. Je blijft in een cirkel ronddraaien en dezelfde vervelende situaties tegen komen.

Op dit moment merk je dat je niet meer kunt ondernemen wat je graag wilt, of vindt dat je moet doen. Alles kost zoveel energie dat je er heel moe van wordt.

Als jij dit herkent dan is dit is het moment om met mij in gesprek te gaan. Ik ben een buitenstaander en ik sta objectief naast jou.

 

Het is nu tijd voor verandering,

Maar welke dan?

En hoe kun je deze verandering realiseren?

 

Dit is waar mijn werk goed van pas komt. Op structurele wijze werk ik met jou samen, zodat jij inzicht krijgt in hoe jouw gedachtes, manier van communicatie en je gedrag jouw huidige situatie kunnen verbeteren.

Door onze samenwerking ontwikkel je nieuwe strategieën die jou voor de rest van je leven zullen ondersteunen.

Wil je ook vooruit blijven komen?

Bel of mail Jeanine voor een kennismakingsgesprek.

Actie!? methode

Deze methode is ervoor om weer in actie te komen en te blijven.

Wanneer je merkt dat je een bepaalde actie steeds maar voor je uit schuift of wel weet dat je deze moet ondernemen maar er telkens niet aan toe komt, dan kun je jezelf een van de volgende drie zinnen cadeau geven.

Hiermee geef je jezelf de ruimte om deze actie wel te gaan ondernemen.

Drie zinnen zijn:

Iedere situatie kunnen zien als een nieuwe situatie

Behoefte om iets te bereiken of te volbrengen

Jezelf toe te staan om te slagen of te falen

 

Welke geef jij jezelf cadeau?

Deze zin zal je bij elke keer dat je voelt dat je stopt of iets je tegenhoud de ruimte geven om toch in actie te blijven.

Er ook 4 begrippen:

Verwachtingen

Kennis

Ervaring

Spanning

 

Deze begrippen voor je laten werken kost wat moeite en tijd. Zij werken samen als communicerende vaten.

Wanneer, bijvoorbeeld, de spanning te hoog is om in actie te komen dan kan je door nieuwe kennis te vergaren je verwachtingen bijstellen zodat je jezelf in actie brengt. Door in actie te komen bouw je nieuwe ervaring op, veranderen opnieuw je verwachtingen en vergaar je opnieuw nieuwe kennis. Deze nieuwe inzichten kunnen je ondersteunen om in acte te blijven.

Klinkt allemaal heel logisch niet?!

Helaas in praktijk ,wanneer je midden in een rondgaande denkloop zit of je merkt dat je niet verder kunt, is het niet altijd zo vanzelf sprekend. Door dit samen met Jeanine te onderzoeken krijg jij een beter inzicht in hoe je eigen systeem werkt. Met deze nieuwe inzichten kun jij weer doelgericht en actief jezelf ondersteunen om vooruit blijven komen.

Wil je hier met Jeanine even over praten? Dat kan, email mij of bel mij even. Ik spreek graag met jou en dan kunnen wij samen kijken wat mijn methode voor jou en eventueel je collega’s kan betekenen.

Tijdens mijn individuele sessies met mensen en workshops die ik geef, komen deze begrippen uitgebreid aan bod en krijg je de kans om weer doelgericht en effectief in beweging te komen en blijven.

 

Deze methode is ontstaan tijdens het werken met mensen in mijn praktijk in Engeland. Ik werkte met individuen en gaf workshops in deze methode. Zij het dat de methode toen ‘7 elements in confidence’ heette. Terug in Nederland heb ik de ontwikkeling van deze methode voortgezet.

 

Zelfvertrouwen hoe werkt het

Zelfvertrouwen, het blijft een bijzonder iets want het ene moment ben je er vol mee en het volgende moment zak je door de grond en is het weg.

Tijdens het werken met mensen heb ik gezien dat de volgende aspecten invloed hebben op het behouden of wegzakken van het gevoel van zelfvertrouwen.

Ik zie dat bij iedereen deze 7 aspecten anders inwerken op het hebben van zelfvertrouwen.

 

  1. Ervaring

  2. Kennis

  3. Ervaren van een bepaald niveau van stress of spanning

  4. Iedere situatie kunnen zien als een nieuwe situatie

  5. Verwachtingen

  6. Behoefte om iets te bereiken of te volbrengen

  7. Jezelf toe te staan om te slagen of te falen

 

Laten wij aspect 5 nemen “verwachtingen”.

Het hebben van verwachtingen t.o.v. het avontuur dat je wel of niet aan zal gaan heeft invloed op de manier waarop je aan het avontuur begint. Hiermee kun je het slagen dan wel falen van het avontuur in het hand werken.

Waar bij de ene persoon ‘het hebben van verwachtingen’ ondersteunend werkt en deze persoon actief maakt. Kan het een ander persoon juist verlammen en ervoor zorgen dat deze persoon niet aan een volgend avontuur begint.

Ik ga dan niet op zoek naar ‘waarom’ dit is maar ‘weten’ van jezelf hoe dit aspect op jouw inwerkt geeft duidelijkheid. Wanneer je weet van jezelf hoe verwachtingen op je inwerken kun je hier gebruik van maken om zo het je te laten ondersteunen in je volgende avontuur in plaats van het je te laten verlammen.

Het klinkt misschien simpel maar voor velen onder ons die niet weten van zichzelf hoe hun zelfvertrouwen werkt kan het grote gevolgen hebben en je leven op slot zetten. Je durft niet meer te proberen een stap te zetten. Je weet niet meer welke stap, hoe en in welke richting?.…..er ontstaat een neerwaardse spiraal wat ook niet ondersteunend werkt.

Laat het niet zover komen en ga in gesprek met Jeanine om te ontdekken hoe jou zelfvertrouwen werkt. Zelf je zelfvertrouwen kunnen ondersteunen zal blijvend je leven verbeteren. Nu en in je toekomst.

 

 

When one door closes another one opens.

This is a lovely metaphor for times that can feel like turmoil!

We all go through times which can be emotionally draining and very tiring.  During these times, we can feel out of control of our lives and in need of finding new ways that will make our lives feel better again.

Unfortunately, we can’t return to the time when we didn’t know what ‘it’ was that was coming through the just opened door. Regardless, we all  ‘just’ need to deal with ‘it’ in any shape or form on some occasions.

Think of when you fall in love or get that new job you always wanted. These are lovely doors to have opened. Likewise it can happen that you need to deal with the closing of doors. You need to decide which doors you would want to open or which should be closed in order to move on or make changes in your life.

In the midst of this turmoil people often feel a lack of control but actually, you ARE in control. You decide which doors you will open and which possibilities you allow into your life that, in turn, can become reality, if you take the plunge.

For me and my family, we find ourselves in such a time at the moment. We have discovered that we must move back to Holland and that means that there are many doors closing and opening for us at the same time! Some are great opportunities whilst others are very tough for us to deal with, having lived here so long and loving Bristol as we do.

One of the practical changes is about this website, it will, of necessity, be changed into Dutch and with that I realise that I will close the door for a lot of my English followers and possible clients……but equally this will open up doors for Dutch speaking and reading followers and possible clients in my new home.

It saddens me to bring this news to you this way and I know that I will miss the good connections that we have currently…..this website will still be here in the future, though, and as soon as I have the Dutch version, I will add the link here.

I feel like the professional house painter who needs to paint her own house!

 

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR INTEREST,

THE OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH YOU AND YOUR SUPPORT.

 

With very best wishes

Jeanine Hamaker

7 elements of Confidence by Jeanine Hamaker

The sun is out and it feels like summer, an enjoyable time for many and I hope that includes you!

Today I would like to focus on growing and maintaining of your confidence.

Confidence can be like water in your hands.  One moment you have it, the next its gone.

Why and How does this occur?

Working with many people over the last few years I have come to realise that everybody has these moments but not all of us mind the fact that our confidence levels go up or down.

I began to realise that there are elements that can grow a person’s confidence but, simultaneously, may make another person freeze up.

I have created the ‘7 elements of confidence’. When I encounter a point in which a persons confidence has gone down it is always one or more of these elements that can be improved.

The 7 elements of confidence are:

1.        Experience

2.        Knowledge

3.        Healthy levels of pressure

4.        Seeing every situation as new

5.        Expectations

6.        The need to accomplish or achieve

7.        Allowing yourself to succeed or fail

 

Let’s take the element of “experience”.

To one person starting a new job in which he/she has no experience with many new tasks within the job, can feel daunting and make him/her freeze up, whilst for a different kind of person the prospect of a new challenge triggers a feeling of excitement and he/she can’t wait to get started.

The first person might already have had experience with starting ‘something new’ which led to him/her feeling cautious. He/she can be helped by allowing him/herself to ‘see this situation as new’. This can then enable the person to get past the freezing-up and get going.

To the second person, allowing himself to build up new experiences can indeed trigger him into action but he could well get blocked by his own or other people’s ‘expectations’ or if there is an ‘unhealthy level of pressure’ in the work environment.

There are elements here that you can look at from differing vantage point in order to support yourself and allow yourself to try what you have been less-than-confident to do before , whereas only allowing yourself to look at a new situation in a particular/familiar way can lead to you getting blocked and make you freeze up.

Please take a minute to look at the elements and think about different situations where you felt vulnerable or lacking in confidence.

Ask yourself which element made you feel stuck and which element you now think might support you to allow yourself to go on, try new things and make changes?

If you have a situation which you want to deal with but do not feel confident enough to do so, please feel free to contact me.  I am always happy to talk.

Thank you for reading; I hope you will feel even more confident with these 7 elements of confidence.

Please feel free to share this newsletter via social media, your friends and family.

Sunny greetings

Jeanine Hamaker

 

 

 

 

Spring cleaning

Spring is finally in the air, time to get rid of all we do not want anymore!

After clearing out some of the material goods out of the office or home, why not get rid of the unsupportive thoughts in your mind as well?

In Co-active coaching method we call the unsupportive thoughts’ Saboteurs.

This is the thought or voice in your mind that instantly tells you why a new idea you have is not possible! Subconsciously we believe this thought or thinking loop soo much that it will not be challenged but listened to and the new idea get shuffled aside.

 Which saboteur do you listen to?

  1.  “I can’t do this because it will not be good enough for me or my……?

  2. Therefore it is perfectly alright and acceptable for me to always feel inadequate or not good enough”
  3. “I can’t say this or that because it will hurt or offence other people?!
  4. Therefore it is ok for me to feel down, not happy, etc……”

 There are as many a Saboteur as there are people!

 

Which thought comes instantly to mind when you have a new idea?

It keeps you save and out of trouble but it also stops you from trying out new ideas, communicate your real feelings or wishes etc.

This is why you wil never get what you really want.

Why not take a moment and think about who you are listening to? Why not take a chance and find out how you can communicate in a friendly way what you really feel?

Have a good clear out this spring and if you would like to talk to find out how we can get you going together you know where to find me……

I’m always happy to talk not string attached.

Latest news about Jeanine and her coaching practise:

 ACC accreditation from ICF

After 2,5 year of working, learning and exploring I have received the ACC Accreditation by the International Coaching federation  (ICF) this April. I thank everybody who has worked with me and by doing so, has given me the 100 hours of work I needed. Thank you all very much!

BYTA awards

This winter I supported one team of the Bristol Young Talent Award competition.

MY team won one of the ‘Best Product’ –award and Kieran Grant won the ‘Most Creative’- award.

I am soo proud of them as they worked constructively and were a very nit team.

Well done to you all !

New website lay out

The website for www.jehcoaching.com has a new layout now I’m working on the texts! For those who knew my previous website please tell me what you think, comments are very welcome!

Thank you every soo much for reading the whole newsletter and I’d love to hear which Saboteur you have found and have chosen not to listen to anymore!  This is a big challenge and frees you and the people around you from grey communication! It will bring you all clarity and a chance to make solid steps to an even more enjoyable life together.

 

Why not give it a go?

 

Have the best spring cleaning ever!

 

Lots of love from Jeanine

 

 

Make planning fun

We can make the most detailed and wonderful plans but if our motivation goes, for what ever reason and then the plan goes…….

‘Making planning fun’ does enhance the chances of  the plan becoming reality.

Personally I really do not enjoy making a plan by writing everything down in a list.

Last month I did this workshop with my Business Inspired ladies group. We had a fun evening full of chatting about what we want for 2013.

 

 “The best plan in an

implemented one”

 

The pictures shown here are form my latest workshop with Business Inspired Ladies form the Central Bristol group.

 

Instead of making a boring list with all the necessary parts of a good plan we draw this darling puppet. 

puppet IMG

 

We all wrote down our dearest wish for 2013

in the tummy nice and warm!

 

By talking with each other about the ‘what, when, who, why, costs etc’ we got creative and wrote all the answers and new ideas down on and around the dolly.

 

1 P1680386

1 P1680384

 

Afterwards we dressed the puppets decently to put on the wall at our offices!

 

Look at these lovely ladies with wishes and a plan ready to be executed!

 

 

P1680392overview 2 P1680407

 

 This was a fun way of making our plan for the dearest wish for 2013.

Why not try it yourself!

overview 3 P1680407

Have a fab 2013

 

Jeanine Hamaker

 

 

 

back to top

 

 

 

 

 

Yeiks, another year is almost gone!? celebrate your achievements

What did you do this year? Do you feel you have accomplished or achieved something this year?

 

Let’s celebrate your achievements

 

What have you done this year that felt great……?

  • Taken that family holiday and enjoyed it? Which is a family Life achievement
  • Done the work to get further in your career? This is Professional development. Did you get a better job or maybe found a new one?
  • Made conscious changes in your actions which have made your life soo much better! What have you doen this year you felt you could not do before? This is personal development.

There are lots of areas you can have achieved something in. How about stopping a bad habit and started a positive one? Given birth and started life as a parent. What have you achieved?

 

This is what I found after taken a moment to think about this:

  • I have taken more consciously time out to spend nicely enjoyable with our girl which has been very valuable to me and has strengthened our relationship
  • I have done a CBC course this year and starting to use the system with my clients.
  • We have moved house over the summer and now I have my own consultation room on the top of my home!
  • I have given more workshops and I’m now working on my own book! Scary but great

 

What are your achievements?

 

Please ask yourself the following question:

What have you done to

accomplish your achievements?

 

Did you plan it in your diary and actually did what you had planned?

Did you go and talk to people who have helped you achieve?

Did you kick yourself to get into action or gave yourself permission to fail in order to, at least, try to get what you wanted/ needed?

How do you feel now? Have you discovered what you did to accomplish what you wanted or needed?

Taking time out and thinking about this year of 2012 has given me a great warm feeling.  Actually after thinking about it; “I have worked really hard this year and put in a lot of effort, energy and time into making this year a great year!”

I recon so did you!

 

 

How do you feel about yourself and 2012 now?

A bit warmer and better?

 

The festive season is upon us which is the perfect time to give yourself a treat and celebrate your year!

 

What would you like to do to celebrate 2012??

I personally will have nobody coming this xmas to our house! We will have a nice family xmas at home! This is something I look forward to and it will be great for us all!

 

What are you going to do?

 

Enjoy

 

 

You might have noticed I have not asked you what did go wrong this year! Of course your life or work can have gotten muddled up for you in 2012. You might feel all is a mess at this moment?

It might be a good idea to contact me and have a chat, see what we can do together to turn your beautiful mess into new opportunities?

 

Sunny greetings

Jeanine Hamaker

Email:  Jeanine@jehcoaching.com

 

 

 

 

Save time, energy and effort; time management

Don’t we all like to save time, energy and effort?

Using the spared time focused and enjoyable….

Where can we save time, energy and effort?

How about looking at the way we run our household….

How much time do you spend on this? Washing, cooking, cleaning, tidying, organising kids or family meetings?  Who starts planning the family holiday and doing the (financial) administration? Etc……

I reckon a lot of time.

How about discussing with you partner where you both could save time, energy and effort here?

 

Does this sound like a dream?

 

After Joni Farthing had asked me to do a workshop on sharing household to save up time which can be spend on a woman’s work, business or special time with the family, I started talking with lots of ladies about this.

I noticed a couple of similarities. Lots of women still are trying to “do it all”. For what ever reason they do not want to give up control on how and when the household chores are done.

Lots of women feel like their partner does not want to help out and it seems so much easier to “just” do it themselves…….

They end up feeling their effort goes unnoticed from time to time and being responsible for the household seems expected of them without asking by their partner…….

I have developed this free and easy to use but clarifying exercise named;

 

“Your plate, my plate”

“Because we are

2 adults running

1 household!” 

This exercise is there to start an, as far as possible, emotionally free and open discussion about how you are 2 adult who are running 1 household.

Looking at the way you run the household together will save you both time, energy and effort in the long run.

It is a start to open  up communication and negotiations to keep finding time and energy which can be saved on the way the household is run.

 

PS: Personal note from Jeanine Hamaker

Sorry it has been a while since you have heard from me.

We have moved house and now I have my own consultation room at the top of our own home.

We coach on the top!

This is a big improvement for my clients and my self

http://www.jehcoaching.com/faq/where-do-the-sessions-take-place/

life is changing how to deal with life’s surprises

 When your life is going well and you feel good life gives us a surprise which will change it again forever. Live seems ‘foggy’ again and needs ‘figuring out’. You are challenged to look for new ways of actions or communication. Also these times make us grow personally, feel alive and opens up new postures. We get good and bad surprises and sometimes, bad surprises are blessings in disguise. May this be parents who become needy or relationships which suddenly seems to go wrong. Unexpectedly getting pregnant and find you are having twins or losing a loved one. You might realize the way you are living your life is no longer healthy for your own good!  

How do you deal with life’s surprises?

How do you make sure your own personal track keeps going whilst you deal with the sudden changes? With sudden surprises or changes every person reacts different. Where one person gets overwhelmed and  stops all actions others try to make the practical changes quickly and deal with the mental or emotional shift afterwards or, preferably, not at all. An example: imagine you are pregnant and moving house, one of your parents suddenly need personal care and another big surprise comes around the corner but you do not know what it is…… one might feel the mental and emotional plate is overloaded. This then does affect our physical state and you feel tiered, not able to concentrate or focus etc…. Are likely to get overwhelmed or are you the kind of person that pushes on to get practical actions done before crashing?  Both ways work only in a very different order. Some people even see these moments as a chance to change what else is bothering them.  

Tips to get through a dificult time:

  • Take one step at the time. What needs to happen next week is not today or even at this moment. Give yourself space to be present with what happens now.

 

  • Talk with friends and people who you feel safe with.  But always realise people have their personal views and perspectives. Out of love they can steer your thinking. Consider talking with a person outside your situation. Do not ask for their opinion but ask them to listen to you. If you wish to deal with a situation clearly and swift have 3 sessions with a life coach.

 

  • Take good care of your physical body eat, drink and sleep! Even if you do not feel like it keep your body energy up. If needed give yourself the time and space and money to do yoga or relax stretching before going to sleep.

 

  •  Check the balance between doing something for others and standing up for your own needs or wants. See how much energy you have at this day and do what is within your power. You might find you can do more than you think or you have been pushing yourself too hard and need rest.

 

  •  Try to stay connected with you personal inner voice. Do not do anything which goes against your personal believes but re-evaluate the usefulness of you personal believes. See whether they are getting you where you want or holding you back to take actions.

  When you become more aware of your personal strategy of dealing with life’s sudden surprises you can be more confident in dealing with the next one! These tips are to get you through the rough patch I’m curious what does work the best for you; maybe you have a different one. Please let me know email: jeanine@jehcoaching.com All the best for now Love Jeanine Hamaker  

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Mentoring, Supervision vs Coaching

Dear all,

Thank you for your interest in coaching.

At the moment I’m making a set of articles which will clarify the placement of coaching. The word ‘Coaching’ is often used where people actually mean counselling, psychology, mentoring, teaching ect… and vice versa.

Last month we looked at the differences and overlaps between Coaching, Counselling and Psychology. This month I do the same with Mentoring, Supervising and Coaching.

Mentoring, Supervision and Coaching

What are the distinct differences between these three words, and where do they overlap?

Mentoring

This is often used when a person would like to learn from someone who has much more experience and knowledge in a certain area. This is often used in a professional situation.

Think of a senior manager who is developing a manager which just started in the same job.

The mentor will share her personal experience and knowledge with the person who is mentored. There is a clear dependence and level difference between the two persons.

From the mentored point of view this is an easy and quick way of gaining knowledge and hear firsthand experience about a, for him, new subject. As the mentor is sharing her personal knowledge, experience and views on the subject. The mentored has the change to adopt the manners, tactics and strategies of the mentor. Herein lays a difference with coaching.

The mentored needs to adapt the knowledge, shared views and experience to his own situation and this is where a coach’s work comes in. During the coaching the mentored can think and develop his personal way of applying the gained knowledge and experience. Where the mentor is, understandably, fully convinced of her own views which can work in her situation, the mentored needs to discover what will work for him in his own situation.

Let’s use the situation of senior manager mentoring a starting manager. A mentor can give this starting up manager lots of knowledge about systems used or politics in the office.

A coach will encourage the starting manager to discover his own way of working which will enhance the confidence of the starting up manager. The starting up manager can grow into his job considerably faster using these both ways of working simultaneously.

Supervision

This is often used in professional situations where the supervisor is checking whether the supervised person is acting according previous set regulations or requirements.

In lots of professions there will be times people do get supervised. This then ensures the work of the supervised person is according regulations and standards used.

If there are leaks the supervisor will make the supervised person aware of this which will enable him to undertake appropriate action.

During supervision there can be discussions which often lead to a deeper understanding of the way the supervised person works. This also happens during coaching. Here is a overlap.

I hope this was useful to you, if you have any questions please do contact me.

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Psychology vs Coaching

A lot of the time I get asked

“Are you a psychologist or counsellor?!

Do you straighten peoples head out.??!!…..”

When asked this I always feel the need to explain that I know about thought processes and all kinds of mental conditions people can have. But as a coach I believe a person is better of following his own inner compass then trying to follow a so cold “norm” which has derived from research. I believe research is very useful and we have become much more aware of our human behaviour, feelings and thought processes. But making the outcome of the research a ‘norm’ is for me one step too far.

I believe where a person starts aiming to be like the statistics and so cold ‘norm’ and this seems impossible to reach, this is where people get frustrated and starting to feel unconfident etc…

With this newsletter I hope to clarify difference between Psychology and Coaching. There is an overlap and they can support each other. I can also under scribe that for some people one will work better for him/her then the other. We are human! All different and therefore different support will work!

Psychology and Coaching are often used interchangeable as in fact they are all very different.

 

Psychology

Psychology is used when a person has a known and researched condition, mentally and /or behavioural. The psychologist works with the person to help this person cope with the condition. The psychologist has studied all kinds of researched conditions. The psychologist can see if a person has a researched and known condition and treat the person with an excisting treatment.

Through research are all kind of conditions discovered and possible treatments created and developed. This is an ongoing process new research, new discoveries gives new or adjustments to treatments. These treatments are ways of psychotherapy. A psychologist will follow a system and tries to ‘heal’ or support a person to life with the condition. Through the research has risen a “norm’ which is the most common behaviour recorded in research. This is where ‘the norm’ for behaviour of ways of thinking is set and a client will be supported to come as close to this ‘norm’ as possible.  Clients often feel stuck or have a known condition and want a researched treatment.

 

Coaching  

Coaching is used where the clients feels out of balance or stuck in a situation or way of thinking. When a person feels his behaviour or way of thinking does not support him he can go to a coach.  A coach supports a client to become aware of his own personal compass. A coach believes every person is naturally resourceful and will always try to make his own situation better. A coach can work according known methods. Methods which are designed to support the client to deal with his personal behaviour, feeling, thoughts, views, perspectives etc…. the coach will ask the client questions and support the client to find his own answers. Coaching can be used in all different situations where a person wants to be more aware of his own inner compass which enables to person to follow his own course.

 

Counselling

Counselling is often used where a person has to deal with his feelings. The client feels he is not moving forward in a certain area in his life. A Counsellor has studied all different kinds of behaviour and thought processes like a psychologist but are specialist in dealing with feelings.

These descriptions are very short and leave out lots of fine detail I know. But they are all different ways of working with feelings, behaviour and thought processes.

 

Aiming at ‘the norm’ or ‘inner compass’?

Where a psychologist follows a set treatment and wants a person to get as close to ‘the norm’ as possible, a coach takes the inner compass of the client as the norm. A coach wants the client to get as close as possible to his own compass and follow that.

Both ways work for different people. Where I see psychology as directive which can be very helpful to a client, a coach is objective as possible to support the client to make up his own mind which will work better for the client.

 

Looking back or looking forward?

Another distinct difference is that psychologist will ask you about childhood earlier experiences etc.. and built on this. A psychologist believes our behaviour is a combination of earlier experience, childhood upbringing and situation we have been in. We can change our behaviour and thought process consciously but there is always the change of falling back into our old behaviour.

A coach will take the current situation as a starter point and looks forward because a coach believes people have personal choice in how they behave or communicate and therefore create the future. A coach will only look at earlier experiences when a client specifically asks for it and the coach does ask the client how looking at an earlier experience can support him today and in the future.

 

I do hope this short article about the differences of psychology, counselling and Coaching will clarify the three ways of working.

I’m a ACC certified coach and I do believe people can safe themselves a lot of energy, frustration and time by knowing themselves better through coaching

Please feel free to share this article with friends and family or comments on this to me directly. Who knows it might give new useful insight?

 

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Reaching your goals

 

“Starting a change can happen at any time.

It is the starting that gets in the way”

 

What do you want to change?

  • Get organised,
  • Declutter the house,
  • Plan holidays on time to not miss out of that one spot you wish to go to,
  • Look up the concerts you would like to go to this year and buy tickets on time,
  • Want to get serious about losing the extra weight you are carrying around,
  • Get healther,
  • Stop smoking etc…….

Whatever you are trying to change, we often start and within couple of days…for some hours the first bombs are on the road to achieving our set goals have cropped up. Old habbits creep upon us again…….etc….

I personally know I’m still trying not to have my bit of chocolate every evening….but I do manage now to go to the ladies gym twice a week. Yes!

 

How are you going to keep on your path

and achieving what you want?

 

5 tips:

  1.  Make a dream picture in your head of the achievement you want. This you can do in your mind or make a drawing. It does not have to be the best drawing ever. Hang this on your fridge and look at it every day.
  2. Mind map: Take a piece of paper and a pen. Write down your goal or wish in the middle and then write down all that you can think of around this goal or wish.
  3. Take baby steps, one step or little change into your daily routine that will bring you closer to your wish.  Keep doing this one step until you feel one mare can be taken etc……
  4. Look for saboteurs the one object, person, habit, emotion, view, perspective or thought that stops you from taking action towards your wish or goal. Often this is the one that keeps you save and makes sure you will not fail because you will never going to try! ………found one? Than get angry with this saboteur and write down what it is stopping you from doing. ……wrote it down? Now see what you need to get to what you just wrote down!…. and get this!
  5. Last but not least make an appointment with Jeanine and get serious about reaching your goal or getting what you wish for.

 

Sneaky of me isn’t it that number 5!

But yes, with concentrated constructive support you will reach your goal sooner and easier.

Best tip

  • 6   Get someone to support you when the going get rough! Tell this person what kind of support you want in order to make it effective  as possible

Please feel free to share this newsletter with others. why not on your facebook

All the very best

Love Jeanine Hamaker

 

 

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Jeanine’s newsletter of December 2012

What do you leave behind in 2011 and what are your plans for 2012.

Please allow me to start with a big thank you for all your lovely feedback from last month’s newsletter. Lots of you have changed something to make this coming Christmas that bit better! I do wish you and your loved ones a VERY enjoyable Christmas and New Year celebration.

During the preparations for this Christmas there might be a voice in the back of your mind, going: ”Wait a minute, the year is almost gone and what have I actually done this year?”

The time around Christmas and New Year is a great for tying up loose ends and making plans for 2012

How has 2011 been for you? Have you gained a lot this year or would you rather forget 2011 as quickly as possible? What does come up for you when you think about 2011?

Did you achieve some of your goals for this year? What are you willing to leave behind in 2011 and what do you want to take with you into 2012?

There are lots of different ways, rituals you could call them, by which we people try to leave unwanted thoughts and bad experiences behind so the New Year can start with a fresh and clean slate. Some lit up fireworks, burn pictures or write ups from the memories they rather let go of.  How about the people who take a very cold dive into the sea or ocean on New Year’s Day! Would you like to leave something behind?

What do you leave behind in 2011?

Then comes January 2012 and what would make this coming year for that bit better than 2011.

Have you already planned you holidays? What big events are taking place? The Olympics will be here. What will be happening for you, your family and friends?

Personally, I’m organizing a unique “Conscious Parenting Course” which will start on the 20th of February. This is very exciting and will give parents, with children age 1-8, background information about child development and parenting styles. Parents will gain understanding of their own parenting, support from other parents and more confidence.  More information can be found on the Conscious Parenting page.

What exciting happening will happen for you in 2012? Move house or get back into work? Is there going to be a wedding or any other big life changing event? What will be happening with your loved ones?

I’m inviting you to give these thoughts attention and maybe discuss these with your family and friends. If you are thinking about making a new start in 2012 it can help to gain support, form close friends, which will enable you to get what you want.

If you do wish to talk about you plans for 2012 to ensure they will become reality. Or maybe what it is you rather leave behind in 2011, please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Wishing you the very best for the 2012

Jeanine Hamaker

Christmas stress November 2011

Halloween is behind us and the next ‘big’ holiday is Christmas.

Already I hear lots people talking about the burden that Christmas feels like sometimes. Here are a couple of examples:

1 Buying presents for everyone while you are not sure whether they wil like them and maybe return them on Boxing Day or sell them on Ebay.

2 Traveling to the parents or family and staying there for the whole of the Christmas, because you feel this is what they expect from you. Whilst you feel it would be better to see each other on a special part of the Christmas and still have some time left to enjoy the rest of it with you own family unit.

3 Making sure everybody else are having a great time whilst you feel like you are running a hotel for the duration of the Christmas. This can leave you both tired and unhappy because you have not had the change to enjoy your own children and grandchildren who were staying at your home. But you are not discussing this with your children because you feel they would not come anymore if you would “burden them’ with your concerns.

 

Do some of these examples sound familiar to you?

 

If yes, than the fact that you think and feel this way about Christmas means tells you that, these two days out of the year, can be spend in a much more enjoyable way. Way not start talking about it?

By talking about the Christmas arrangements you will discover if your loved ones feel the same way. Together you can make changes which will make Christmas that much more enjoyable for all.

I know talking with loved ones about the Christmas arrangements can be a job in itself.  For a lot of us it is normal and that is great, but some us wish they could start to talk about what they need.  A lot of us are thinking; this person wants this or that, without asking the person involved.

This is about boundaries, unexpressed expectations and respecting your own and other person needs. By starting to talk, you can prevent that this year will be like a script which has been used too many times before.

I wish you all the very best Christmas ever and have fun with the preparations.

I would love to hear what changes you have made this year which will make this Christmas the best ever. Please send me an email or why not phone me.

All the very best,

 

Jeanine Hamaker

 

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Bristol Nine November 2011

 

back to bristol nine coaching

 

By Andy Fraser

In last month’s issue I gave a bit of an overview of the voyage of discovery I had undertaken with Jeanine Hamaker, life and business coach. In it I concluded that a few sessions of coaching had brought very real benefits to the way I run the Bristol Nine business. This has been through Jeanine’s perceptive questioning and positive encouragement of me to take time out to look at the business in a dispassionate way, learn about and challenge how I really work, and gain a clearer, almost forensic grasp, of the nuts and bolts of what it costs to produce the magazine.

Much of what I have learned is, with hindsight, obvious and pure common sense, but working with Jeanine has made me realize that sometimes we are just too busy / disorganized, or focused on the detailed tasks in hand, to see the obvious and recognize what should be common sense. So none of these examples are rocket science but – assuming I’m not uniquely disorganized  -I’d hazard a guess that many people, with the help of some coaching and some quality thinking time, would find similar ways in which to improve the way they work.

So, some examples of the areas of the business I’ve looked at and changes I’ve made:-

1) I now understand and appreciate the workload peaks and troughs associated with the magazine, on a month by month basis throughout the year and also on a day by day basis within the month. This has allowed me to even out the workload and become more efficient overall by being more productive in quieter periods and thus less manic in the normally hectic periods.

2) I’ve recognized where I waste time, and the causes of me not working effectively, and put in place measures to counteract this. For example I realize that I don’t need to visit the bank to pay in more than once a week (it used to be at least three times), saving myself / the business time and money. In a completely different area of work I now appreciate that having music on in the office, which I had all the time, does nothing for my concentration when performing certain activities where I need to think but helps me when doing other less thoughtful activities. So I now fire up iTunes more judiciously.

3) I now have a clear understanding of what is a cost to the business and what I can/have done to reduce it. For example, recording how many letters I send, and costing them up, has led me to  realise I can save £300 a year by sending almost everything second class (I always used to just pop a first class stamp on  things regardless). Similarly, encouraging advertisers to pay online rather than by cheque has saved me a similar amount per year in reduced bank charges. I’ve also reduced my printer ink, paper costs and phone charges   by firstly understanding what they are and changing things accordingly.

4) Looking at the disorganized way I’ve dealt with emails, phone calls and messages in the past made me realize how inefficient I could be. So I’ve created and introduced some simple tools, using the power and simplicity of use that the computer allows, to smarten up how I work. This includes better use of folders, spreadsheets, book-keeping, e-mail flagging and note-taking systems, and the introduction of a manta of “doing something positive with every email or piece of correspondence I pick up or open.”

These are just a few “simple” tangible examples of how I’ve managed to make my working day “better” – better for me and better for the business – that have resulted from a few coaching sessions with Jeanine. I plan to have another session or two in a few months time to look again at the business, because things change all the time and there is always room for improvement. If you are serious about business improvement you could do a lot worse than booking up a few coaching sessions with Jeanine – a little investment of time and money could bring real benefit  in the way it has to me.

 

 

Bristol Nine October 2011

“In our most recent coaching session, Jeanine Hamaker, of JEHcoaching, and I concluded that, for now, we had gone as far as we felt necessary to go in terms of analysing how I manage the business that is The Bristol Nine. Now was the time to focus on actually putting into practice, and bedding in, the new ideas, techniques and thought on how to improve the business that we and discussed and developed during my business coaching. In this first part of a two-part review I look at some overall thoughts and conclusions.

When I had some refresher driving lessons a couple of years ago it made me realize how easy it is to slip into not necessarily bad habits but ones that are not top of the range, and drive in a less than perfect manner as a result – without realizing it. This isn’t necessarily laziness, it’s just that  you get used to doing things in a particular ways – ways that develop over time – and that, in the absence of anyone suggesting you do things differently, ways you come to assume, either consciously or subconsciously, work. Life coaching, or business coaching in my example, has done the same for how I view the way I run my business as refresher lessons did for my driving. Sure, when you set up a business there are business models you can follow, advice you can subscribe to, best practice guides you can read. However I’ve found that in day to day terms the business has just evolved, positively by and large, but without much thought from me as to whether it has evolved, and is continuing to evolve, in the best way. And why the lack of input from me? In part due to my character and in no small way due to that bane of most self-employed people’s working lives – being too busy.

Now coaching might not be to everyone’s liking – I’ve been asked why I would pay good money to get a total stranger, with no experience of you or your business, to tell you how to improve that business. And if you have that attitude then would expect coaching to be a fairly pointless exercise. However if you are happy to approach it with an openness, a positive manner, a desire to change things for the better and a willingness to be honest about yourself then I believe that it can bring about very real, tangible rewards.

In my view there are two key features to the coaching that I have received, relating to time and perceptiveness. In terms of time, coaching with Jeanine has forced me, thankfully, to free up time – from the busy day-to-day, week-to-week, month to month schedule – to escape if you like, and to create the opportunities to step back and look at the various ways I work in a dispassionate and honest manner.

And from a perceptiveness point of view, Jeanine is just that – she has an ability to see above the detail, that I get swamped in sometimes, and view a bigger picture with more general themes. In this sense it matters not one jot that her background isn’t in publishing or advertising – it has been her ability to take a non-judgmental and detached view, and allow me to set the agenda and determine what aspects of the business we discussed, that has been key to me deriving the benefits from her coaching that I have gained.

Several people have, quite legitimately, asked me “Isn’t it just all about common sense?” and my answer has been that in many respects it is. However teaching of common sense sadly isn’t on the national curriculum, and many of us are either too busy, too clouded in our thinking or too unwilling to see and adopt common sense, especially if by doing so we are accepting that, in some respects, our behaviour or ways of doing things are, or have become,  less than entirely sensible.  Working with a coach gives you that opportunity to refocus on your business, examine what you do and why, and leads to suggestions and ideas of ways to do things in a more constructive and productive manner.

Eagle eyed readers will have noticed that The Bristol Nine has been getting a bit chubby of late, which is great for me and I hope good for you. An influx of new advertisers, and a desire to increase correspondingly the amount of written content has increased the workload of yours truly quite a lot – and I was busy before! Which brings me back to coaching. The review Jeanine and I have into how I view and produce The Bristol Nine may have ended for now, but as the magazine continues to evolve and grow I fully intend to look again at the business and develop ways of improving it further – ways that evolve with the help of an independent minded coach helping me look at my business in a reflective and questioning manner.

Next month I will conclude by review of the coaching Jeanine has provided me with by looking in detail at the changes I have made to the way I run the magazine – which I hope will give some ideas to other small businesses.”

 

 

Christmas stress November 2011

Halloween is behind us and the next ‘big’ holiday is Christmas.

Already I hear lots people talking about the burden that Christmas feels like sometimes. Here are a couple of examples:

1 Buying presents for everyone while you are not sure whether they wil like them and maybe return them on Boxing Day or sell them on Ebay.

2 Travelling to the parents or family and staying there for the whole of the Christmas, because you feel this is what they expect from you. Whilst you feel it would be better to see each other on a special part of the Christmas and still have some time left to enjoy the rest of it with you own family unit.

3 Making sure everybody else are having a great time whilst you feel like you are running a hotel for the duration of the Christmas. This can leave you both tired and unhappy because you have not had the change to enjoy your own children and grandchildren who were staying at your home. But you are not discussing this with your children because you feel they would not come  if you would “burden them’ with your concerns.

 Do some of these examples sound familiar to you?

If yes, than the fact that you think and feel this way about Christmas means tells you that, these two days out of the year, can be spend in a much more enjoyable way. Way not start talking about it?

By talking about the Christmas arrangements you will discover if your loved ones feel the same way. Together you can make changes which will make Christmas that much more enjoyable for all.

I know talking with loved ones about the Christmas arrangements can be a job in itself.  For a lot of us it is normal and that is great, but some us wish they could start to talk about what they need.  A lot of us are thinking; this person wants this or that, without asking the person involved.

This is about boundaries, unexpressed expectations and respecting your own and other person needs. By starting to talk, you can prevent that this year will be like a script which has been used too many times before.

I wish you all the very best Christmas ever and have fun with the preparations.

I would love to hear what changes you have made this year which will make this Christmas the best ever. Please send me an email or why not phone me.

All the very best,

Jeanine Hamaker

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